4 Meaningful Holiday Gifts All Divorcing Moms Should Ask For
Divorced moms can dread the arrival of the holidays. It’s either shifting shared custody schedules and traditions that feel awkward or the new partner your former spouse is dating showing up and what feels like competition for the best gifts for the kids. There is a big exhale when it is all over.
Until then, you don’t need to sideline yourself from the fun of receiving gifts this time of year. While you’re busy making sure your kids are enjoying their time with you at your home this holiday season, there may be a few people in your life that want to make sure you feel celebrated too. From parents to siblings, your church community, or your Thursday night girls group, if people want to help you, let them! Here are a few ideas you could offer them to surprise you with this season:
1. Family photo session. Most of your family pictures are from when you were married. The other ones are either pictures just of your kids, or weird selfies because you’re the only adult around to take the photo. One of the most meaningful gifts I received right after my divorce was a professional photoshoot for me and my kids from one of my best friends. She wanted my new home to include photos that would help me adjust to the new combination of people at our home and give us some memories to make as well. Ask for a gift card or cash toward an affordable session to get a few new shots to hang in your space, or ask a gifted friend to bring her camera and capture your tribe for you.
2. New address stamp. The address stamp that says “The ___ Family” just doesn’t seem appropriate anymore does it? Even the word “family” on the stamp can feel weird when you are pulling yourselves together differently now. My first post-divorce address stamp just said my first name and the first names of my kids with our new address. Don’t get caught up in last names or defining yourselves. Just identify yourselves as you are now. This is an easy and affordable gift for a girlfriend to customize for you.
3. Project time. The two adult families can get a lot of stuff done. Once you are on your own, the projects can pile up quickly. There is lawn care, garage cleanouts, heavy art to hang, appliances making weird noises, window washing, basement sorting, painting, and figuring out why that one light switch never seems to work. The gift of helping hands cannot be overstated. It can feel embarrassingly hard to ask for help, but it doesn’t trouble the giver as much as it does you. Lean on your people. Ask for a quick stop by after work to consult on a repair. See if a Saturday morning would work to tackle one of the bigger projects with a team. Be strategic with your asks, ask the right people, don’t ask all the time, and don’t assume people know you need the help. People love to be a divorcing mom’s hero. Take their love. Someday you will be in a place to give back that same support.
4. Divorce Coaching. Don’t go it alone. There are so many pitfalls and sticking points along the divorce recovery path, and a divorce coach can help you navigate through even the trickiest of situations. Communication blocks, trigger issues, and parenting conflicts are just a few issues that can be tackled. Ask for a Starter Package to get customized support for your journey.
Don’t write yourself off this holiday season. Divorce doesn’t take this time off and neither will your heart. Ask for these four gifts which can give you a boost as you discover what life looks like on this new and unexpected path.
