How Long Will My Divorce Take? - Part 1
“How long will my divorce take?” is a common question I hear as people start to enter into and walk through divorce. It seems like splitting everything fairly in half (with the law deciding so much of it) should be easy, right?
It’s not.
Divorce is a surprisingly logistically complex and emotionally taxing process. To figure out how long your divorce will take, you need to understand six important variables impacting the timeline. The first three are found below:
The Length of Your Divorce Depends on What Type of Divorce You are Getting
The timing of your divorce is definitely influenced by the way you choose to legally facilitate and move through the process itself.
With a mediation driven divorce, a neutral third party helps you come to agreements. Choose a mediator who is skilled in idea generation and reality testing and who has experience wrapping up the process within 4 to 5 sessions. Sessions may be spread out to allow for the parties to research options independently, but a good mediator targets around 6 months to finish the process. Additional time may be required if spouses hire consulting attorneys to advise them.
In a collaborative divorce, each spouse selects their own collaboratively trained attorney and spouses share a financial neutral and a mental health neutral to guide the process. This team meets together to pour through the issues of your divorce. Having everyone in the room at the same time can shorten the amount of back and forth between your attorneys, but scheduling delays can pop up with the need to coordinate so many schedules. Collaborative divorces can take on average between 8 months to a year depending on the familiarity the collaborative group has in operating together.
A litigated divorce involves each spouse selecting their own attorney who represents their interests. A skilled family law attorney is incredibly useful and directive for handling your divorce, but the length of your process will extend as you and your spouse speak through your representation rather than directly with each other. Mediation can be used as part of this process which allows you to work through the specifics of your settlement prior to trial. Litigated divorces can take on average between 12 to 18 months to resolve, keeping in mind that your divorce will unfold in a way that is unique to your relationship.
Your Financial Picture Affects How Long Your Divorce Takes
Regardless of what type of divorce you pursue, you will need to complete a financial disclosure laying out the state of your income, assets, debts, and current and future spending plans. If both partners are aware of and equally involved in their financial picture, the timing is shortened. However, more typically, one partner has greater access to or influence over finances, and that creates suspicion on the part of the other partner. Attempts to gather accurate information can extend the length of your divorce as you pursue business and property valuations, declarations of outside money hidden, and who owes who what. Adding to this complexity are the tax implications of your financial picture which play a large role in assigning value.
The Duration of Your Divorce is Impacted by Your Spouse's Personality
Your spouse’s personality has a tremendous impact on the length of your divorce. Some spouses are in a guilt window and may be more eager to negotiate the settlement. Other spouses do not want the divorce and will use the legal process to delay it as long as possible. High conflict spouses will use every option to make it more difficult, including preying on your fears to cause you to rethink why you are getting divorced in the first place. Your spouse will not overnight become logical, rational, empathetic, tuned into your family, or willing to participate in the legal process. Factor in long stretches of time to accommodate this reality.
Look for the next three variables impacting your divorce timeline in my next blog post.
The bottom line is that you will get divorced as soon as you and your spouse decide on a parenting plan, equitable distribution of debts and assets, spousal support, child support, and everything else. You can see where in each of these topic areas there is a whole lot of space for differing perspectives. Understanding these first three factors—divorce type, financial complexity, and dealing with a contentious partner—can aid in predicting the duration and choosing the most suitable route for a smoother divorce process.
If you’re looking for a better sense of your divorce timeline, let’s talk. Book a complimentary call here.
About the Author:
Hi, I’m Andrea, a divorce coach, author, and speaker. I’m the creator of the Divorce Differently with H.E.A.R.T. model, and I can work with you to create a healthier divorce and life (even when your partner is difficult). My clients walk through divorce with a better understanding of the process, clearer expectations, defined boundaries, and useful hacks to make this most unwanted situation doable. I can teach you how to do it too! Let’s talk.
